So what can educators do to help young people feel less lonely?
Commit to knowing the names of the young people in your class or school. When you learn a young person’s name, confirm that you are using their expressed pronouns and proper pronunciation. Memorize their name and use it three times in conversation soon after learning it, and again in every passing or gathering.
Welcome any outliers into the fold. Consider students who are likely to not feel they are a part of the school community—transfer students, students who do not have resources to participate in extracurricular activities, students whose families cannot easily access communications provided by the school because of language barriers or technological gaps, students with external interests not recognized by the school, and so on. Assess what you do to help these students, and what you don’t do. How might you help them?
Be yourself. Young people want to know you, not just the institution you represent or the goals and purpose that drive that institution. Sharing personally about the things that matter to you—a friendship that means a lot, the type of music you love, your favorite thing to read, a question that you find yourself thinking about—adds human details to any interaction. When shared in ways that maintain appropriate and professional boundaries, these kinds of details can become the basis for trust—which is the foundation for receptivity to new ideas and perspectives.